Friday, April 6, 2012


7 words or less?

Yeayeayeayea.  I know.  I know.  It was supposed to be 6 words or less.  Are you kidding me though?  I can easy burn through 750 words describing how I put toothpaste on my toothbrush this morning:

“God damn. I really don’t feel like going to work today.” I said to my reflection as I reached for my purple racing striped toothbrush. I’m not sure, but I think I caught my reflection was mocking again when I away for a moment to grab my brush.  It does that crap to me all the time, when I’m not looking.  Like I bet it sooooo great on his side of the mirror that he can make fun of me.  Wanker.

I looked around for my toothpaste.  Of course I couldn’t find it.  Sure, the “whitening” toothpaste the girls are “supposed” to use was on the sink, but that stuff does some funky shit to my mouth.  I get these “burn” wounds on the inside of my lip and cheeks when I use that whitening crap too much.  And those things hurt like a mother!

No.  I have to use toothpaste for “sensitive” teeth.  Yo!  I’m still a man.  Don’t make fun.  Just because a brother was told by a his dentist he was a bit of a bitch squirming around in the dentist chair while getting his teeth cleaned, doesn’t mean I can’t take pain.

Ok….it does.

See?  See what I mean?  That shit is almost 200 words. 200 wasted words.  And I didn’t even get to the part how I put the paste on the brush.  Do you seriously think I could keep a review down to 6 words?  SIX FUCKING WORDS?!?!  No way!!!  So, I’m going with seven.  Yea, sure…it’s only one more word, but it’s still a buffer, just in case I need it.

You never know…

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